Love Unites: Building a Church-Clinic Alliance … to open Counseling Corners … to Rescue Babies.
In Brief
When a pregnant woman comes to a clinic asking for an abortion, she meets a medical doctor, but what she really needs is a dedicated counselor. A busy doctor cannot give the time, counsel and emotional support that she needs. A present lack of this essential support for women experiencing pregnancy crisis is leading to abortions that could be avoided.
Women in churches can meet this need for counselors. By forming an alliance, churches and clinics can set up ‘Counseling Corners’ for women to be counseled and supported emotionally.
Providing genuine counsel and support for the care and safety of both mother and baby is the right way a society supports women in pregnancy crisis. Christians see it as loving your neighbor as yourself, medical professionals see it as genuine informed consent. ‘Counseling Corners’ are cost-effective, in the right place, and a community response to a community problem.
God Calls us to Rescue! So, Prioritize… Rescue!
How can we reach women and rescue babies from abortion in Vietnam? Well, there are many ways, like, training men and women so they can counsel when they meet someone thinking of abortion. We can start pregnancy help teams and share with families, parent’s groups, in schools or factories, letting them know we can help. Some respond to women asking for help online in social media chat rooms. Some have set up rooms in their home or above a café where pregnant women or single mums needing safety can stay, earning the praise of local authorities.
These great efforts are saving lives in Vietnam today! But there is one place we are not yet engaged, and that is in local clinics and hospitals where many women come for abortion advice and services every day. Going by statistics we think that is 80-300 abortions/day in Hanoi!
How could the church work with a clinic or hospital in their community? Working with a local clinic, could begin with a visit to introduce yourself and your passion to help women and babies. You could share how you can help by counseling and supporting women in pregnancy crisis, and that they can call you anytime to counsel a woman or couple considering abortion. And, you could suggest setting up a Counseling and Support Corner in the clinic or hospital, and that’s what we will explore in more detail in this article.
But first, in order for the church to work in clinics and hospitals (where abortions are provided), I believe the church must prioritize rescue, (compassion and action) and, prioritize working with secular society, (becoming key allies in rescuing many babies).
It is biblical to prioritize rescue! When a man is drowning you throw him a rope! You act quick so he lives! So too with abortion. Rescuing the baby is our primary task, and compassion is our primary motivator! Christians follow both the Great Commission and the Great Commandment – “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Lev. 19:18, Mat. 19:19), and when a life is in danger, you rescue! It is wrong to stand by and just watch a man drown!
Jesus commended the Samaritan who, having compassion, stopped to rescue the man in need, over the religious men who left him to suffer! Acts of compassion and rescue stand alone, not needing to be coupled with evangelism before we act, but rather, seeing others facing harm and death we act with heartfelt compassion and pity for them! We meet their need to be rescued from harm and danger! “Rescue those… being taken… to death…” (Pro. 24:11).
This is not to say we hide the gospel, or leave evangelism out! No! We need God’s truth to reveal the true sin and sickness of the heart that leads to abortion. We need God’s Kingdom to come and change us! But try telling this to a drowning man, a woman held at gunpoint, or a baby about to be aborted! Abortion also demands life-saving actions! Community change takes time.
And here’s the point; If we can’t work within secular spaces, where so many babies are aborted just because ‘they don’t allow us to evangelize,’ then surely, we can correct that, because our primary response to abortion is to rescue, not to evangelize. We build trust with secular friends by making genuine efforts to support women and babies in need. As we raise funds, call others to join, learn how to counsel and prepare to serve well, we become a source of help, an answer to the problem, and a partner the clinics and hospitals can readily work with and invite in.
Rescue and kindness reveal the state of the believer’s heart! Acting out of concern for the needs of others is essential in God’s kingdom! The Gospel must first work in us, to produce compassion like the Samaritan had, and then is outworked through us in acts of rescue and care of others. The King (Mat. 25) commended the servants who; gave food and drink, took in the stranger, clothed the naked, and visited the sick and those in prison. And of course, today, we can add; and those who came and helped women in clinics and hospitals rescue their babies, the most vulnerable in community! Our acts of rescue reveal our hearts of compassion!
And, these acts are to be done for even the very least (Mat. 25:40, Greek: elachistos) among us! Elachistos can mean both importance and size! Who in our society is least in importance and size? The unborn baby who is ‘unwanted,’ who if we don’t rescue, is discarded as medical waste, or flushed down the toilet!
Now, let’s explore how the church and the clinic (and hospitals) can partner together to do this!
There is a Need for Pregnancy Crisis Intervention Counselors
When a woman is pregnant there are two people present – the mother and her baby. Genuine health care considers the best care for both persons. Abortion offers NO positive health care for either the mother or her baby, and abortion is NEVER necessary. “There is no medical reason why the life of the child must be directly and intentionally ended with an abortion procedure.”
Abortion is wrong – it intentionally kills a baby! Abortion is damaging – to women, men, society. Abortion is avoidable – there are safe and better options for mum and baby. Abortion is often a default choice – normally she would never choose it, and in the end, she regrets it! It is vital we guide women away from abortion and support them in motherhood instead.
When a woman visits a clinic asking for an abortion, what she really needs is someone to sit and listen to her, talk with her, calm her fears, help her feel supported, and help her reflect. She’s likely feeling lots of emotional stress, she may have been abandoned, and she may be feeling pushed to abort by her circumstances. Her story, which is often complex, may take time to unfold and she needs to learn about other options and know that people are ready to support her. In a brief visit, a doctor may not realize the pressure she is facing and seldom has the time, interest or training to help her, and yet, there she is grappling with a big decision in his clinic.
So, a woman may choose abortion even though she; may not be well aware of the risks and consequences, or of other options. She may be undecided, or may not even want an abortion!
Because the care she needs cannot be adequately provided in a doctor’s visit, therefore there is a need for Pregnancy Help and Support Counselors to work within hospitals and clinics, to provide the kind of support she needs. Every woman and baby deserve this kind of care!
Why Counseling Corners?
Because this keeps the costs low, and because the main work you are concerned with is counseling, which involves sitting together and talking. You don’t need any medical personnel or equipment such as an ultrasound machine, because the clinic takes care of all of that. They are your partner and that is their business.
What you need is somewhere you can sit and talk. A desk and some chairs are enough to get started, and where you sit is flexible, perhaps in a quiet corner of a larger room, such as a clinic’s reception area. A little privacy is good. You don’t need posters on the wall or lots of printed materials, your phone is perfect for sharing pictures, videos, and helpful information discreetly with your clients. Discuss a rental cost for the space and include water, electricity etc.
Who are the counselors?
They will not be medical or counseling/psychological professionals, who already have their hands full but rather, mature and dedicated women who receive specialized in-house training as pregnancy crisis counselors. Churches are able to recruit and prepare many women for this task.
John Ensor states; “It is accepted practice within the field of crisis counseling for people to receive specialized, in-house training, and thereafter be referred to as “counselors.” This is common in drug/alcohol addiction, divorce recovery, and so on. Following this practice, a counselor implies only that the person has been trained and authorized by the Pregnancy Help Organization (PHO) to serve women and couples in pregnancy crisis.”[1]
Most Women DON’T Want Abortion – even during crisis!
Research shows that most women looking for an abortion don’t actually want an abortion. They are choosing an abortion because of their situation. Frederica Matthews Green said; “No one wants an abortion as she wants an ice cream cone or a Porsche. She wants an abortion as an animal, caught in a trap, wants to gnaw its own leg off.”[2]
One study in the US, showed that 64% of post-abortion women described being ‘forced’ into abortion by their circumstances at the time. Most of them also indicated that during the time between discovering their pregnancy and having the abortion there was such a high level of emotional trauma that they were unable to thoughtfully and cautiously consider their alternatives. Abortion was simply the most obvious and fastest way to escape their dilemmas. Over 84% stated that they would have kept their babies under better circumstances.[3]
In Vietnam, many women change their minds and keep their baby when someone reaches out to help them, like Duy did this year.
Duy found herself unexpectedly pregnant from her boyfriend. With a 10-month-old daughter and her husband off with another woman, Duy went online and found a facebook group “Mothers with unwanted pregnancies.” She posted the message: “12-weeks pregnant, I want to abort, please help!” Duyen saw the message and straight away replied; “Please text me!” Duyen won her trust and counseled her over the following days and weeks, during which Duy decided to keep her baby. In September Duy gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. She didn’t want an abortion, she needed help!
A counselor patiently calms fears, helps critical thinking and builds support and community around her. This is what a woman and her baby need from their community. The kind of care that won’t happen in a single visit to a doctor, but rather is a process over days and months.
Therefore, women in pregnancy crisis don’t just need adequate intervention, counseling and support, and that this is the right thing for society to provide, but moreover, they want to be embraced, informed and supported so they can avoid abortion!
Informed Consent is the ethical obligation to help a woman who is seeking abortion!
Before a doctor does a surgical procedure or gives a medical treatment, he must inform his patient of the risks and alternatives before she decides. This principle called, ‘informed consent’ also justifies counselors (or any friend) speaking to a woman about abortion.
The principle of informed consent is even endorsed by abortion providers, at least in theory! One medical textbook (used in the US and globally) says that informed consent must include 3 things; patients must have the capacity to make decisions… without coercion or manipulation, and…must be given appropriate information.[4] In practice however, a woman in pregnancy crisis often chooses abortion while she is experiencing difficulty deciding, as she is feeling pressured to abort by circumstances, and is not informed of options that support her choice for life. Ignoring these life-saving principles regularly results in poor choices, harm, loss of life and regret. For informed consent to actually work when a woman is in pregnancy crisis, we must realize it is not the medical doctor she needs to visit, but a counselor. It is the counselor who can best help her calm down, think rationally, gain hope and have courage to decide for her and her baby!
Because the goal of the informed consent process is to protect personal well-being and individual autonomy[5], then it is essential we give a woman in pregnancy crisis everything she needs, including counseling, to help her emotionally as she faces such a life-changing decision.
The principle of informed consent not only justifies but, obligates us, indeed, urges us to intervene and counsel women seeking abortion, because the abortion procedure impacts not one but, two patients – the woman and her baby! And the impact on the baby, who is put to death, is far more severe and final than the woman, who faces risks! Death is irreversible! It is tragic! Taking a life should be avoided at all cost! So, counsel must help her choose an option that preserves the life of her baby! A counselor, not only informs her of life options, but also helps her access those options, and continues to support as she starts to follow those options.
As a counselor you are ethically obligated to recommend only those options you think are in the best interest of your clients, in the case of abortion, that includes both the woman and her baby. Therefore, we believe that, only options that avoid harming her baby are genuinely acting in the best interest of both the woman and her baby.[6]
A woman needs to be informed, advised and helped to choose, not only for her own wellbeing, but also for the wellbeing of her baby, who facing death becomes the primary person of concern, in the informed consent process.
Partnership Makes it Happen – and that’s the Heart of a Community!
The main need of a woman in pregnancy crisis is not medical but emotional! She needs a counselor to help her work through fears and worries to find a solution good for her and baby.
Creating ‘Counseling & Support Corners’ is a viable way for society to provide critical counsel, care and support for women in pregnancy crisis. Care that is currently unavailable to them.
This is the right thing for society to provide women, because preserving life and wellbeing is the priority of every humane society. And because community is about sharing responsibility for the good of all, we work together, each playing their vital part, for all, even the least among us!
I cannot think of any partnership more needed in our communities, more consequential to those it helps, more in line with both Christian and humanitarian values, and more do-able by the local church and local clinics (hospitals) working in partnership!
The Church-Clinic (hospital) Alliance is a good pregnancy help model for Vietnam,[7] as it keeps costs low while creating extra income for the clinic, recognizes the true need of the woman for counsel and support, genuinely prioritizes the care of both mother and baby and values partner member’s unique contributions, (such as the clinic who remains the essential medical provider, and the church, who can access and prepare many non-professional but capable counselors). This model of shared partnership can be implemented by clinics and churches anywhere, meeting the needs of women and babies anywhere.
Every baby deserves a chance at life! Every woman deserves the best care from her community! So, the question I’m sure every pregnant women and unborn baby are leaving for us to answer is: “When will we have access to this kind of care in our community?”
By David Waters
I’VE LINKED AN EXAMPLE OF A PROPOSAL TO OPEN A ‘PREGNANCY COUNSELING AND SUPPORT CORNER’ IN A CLINIC OR HOSPITAL, THAT YOU MAY USE OR ADAPT AS YOU NEED. Click the link or find it at: https://baovemamsong.org/eng/
Pregnant? Need help? Contact us: 081 511 4526 (+081 511 4526)
Check out our website in English and Vietnamese: www.baovemamsong.org
[1] Pregnancy Crisis Intervention, John Ensor, p.4
[2] Frederica Matthews-Green, Real Choices: Listening to Women, Looking for Alternatives to Abortion (Linthicum, MD: Felicity Press, 2013), 1. [Ensor’s PCI – 19]
[3] David C. Readon, Aborted Women, Silent No More (Chicago: Loyola University Press, ‘97), 10. [Ensor’s PCI – 18]
[4] Cited in Pregnancy Crisis Intervention, by John Ensor, 70. Management of Unintended and Abnormal Pregnancy: Comprehensive Abortion Care.
[5] Maureen Paul, E. Steve Lichtenburg, Lynn Borgatta, David A. Grimes, Phillip G. Stubblefield, and Michael D. Creinin, Management of Unintended and Abnormal Pregnancy: Comprehensive Abortion Care (Oxford: Wiley-Blackwell, 2009), 48. [Ensor’s PCI – 70]
[6] John Ensor Pregnancy Crisis Intervention, 72.